i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
