You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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