Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
