So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
