I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
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just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
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well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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