he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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