Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  We're like a lot better than the average bears

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  (312): We're like a lot better than the average bears http://tfl.nu/6x8n
  Replies (1) Good night (1422) Bad night (601)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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  (313): I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl http://tfl.nu/zim9
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (1179)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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  (440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys (1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag http://tfl.nu/9hzs
  Replies (33) Good night (6721) Bad night (896)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...

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  (703): She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story... http://tfl.nu/gdb4
  Replies (50) Good night (1456) Bad night (4893)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.

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  (815): Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat. http://tfl.nu/tzy1
  Replies (15) Good night (4300) Bad night (1842)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks

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  (207): She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks http://tfl.nu/sgso
  Replies (22) Good night (5263) Bad night (1138)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.

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  (705): Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work. http://tfl.nu/y66t
  Replies (21) Good night (706) Bad night (1964)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.

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  (615): Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often. http://tfl.nu/4yb3
  Replies (9) Good night (2613) Bad night (509)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.

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  (815): You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever. http://tfl.nu/5xks
  Replies (3) Good night (407) Bad night (838)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic

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  (608): My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic http://tfl.nu/so38
  Replies (13) Good night (1413) Bad night (488)
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  (408): View more from California

  Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.

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  (408): Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday. http://tfl.nu/vfie
  Replies (2) Good night (967) Bad night (496)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message

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  (719): If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message http://tfl.nu/usun
  Replies (1) Good night (1255) Bad night (359)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.

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  (814): He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me. http://tfl.nu/md2z
  Replies (2) Good night (1302) Bad night (438)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.

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  (574): well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test. http://tfl.nu/4a57
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (226)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."

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  (903): Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits." http://tfl.nu/82c3
  Replies (6) Good night (755) Bad night (250)

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