Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.

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(786): View more from Florida

Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.

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(224): View more from Illinois

U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(580): View more from Oklahoma

I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?

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(256): View more from Alabama

No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.

(1-605): View more from South Dakota

Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.

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