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• (313): View more from Michigan

  So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Honestly.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Don't say a word.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.

  (727): View more from Florida

  More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Do you need my fax number or something?

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.

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