Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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(904): View more from Florida

masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap

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(847): View more from Illinois

just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.

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(815): View more from Illinois

No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal

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(925): View more from California

We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro

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(330): View more from Ohio

What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?

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(903): View more from Texas

I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is

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