he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...