Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.

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  (312): sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought. http://tfl.nu/msp2
  Replies (20) Good night (884) Bad night (2307)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

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  (706): Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later http://tfl.nu/a02r
  Replies (26) Good night (7766) Bad night (2145)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.

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  (203): The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake. http://tfl.nu/g05l
  Replies (13) Good night (11057) Bad night (1331)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997

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  (217): Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997 http://tfl.nu/gfc1
  Replies (34) Good night (1342) Bad night (5172)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.

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  (587): She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28. http://tfl.nu/r7ey
  Replies (8) Good night (1081) Bad night (4418)
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  (347): View more from New York

  She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her

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  (347): She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her http://tfl.nu/h5zu
  Replies (10) Good night (4647) Bad night (1072)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.

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  (617): She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her. http://tfl.nu/sdzd
  Replies (13) Good night (5806) Bad night (1575)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.

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  (512): Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough. http://tfl.nu/vxm3
  Replies (10) Good night (1686) Bad night (732)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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  (724): Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/sfkv
  Replies (7) Good night (1010) Bad night (1803)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.

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  (250): I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not. (250): A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop. http://tfl.nu/aiao
  Replies (13) Good night (1416) Bad night (834)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  cocks speak louder than words, as they say

  (914): View more from New York

  Nobody says that.

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  (207): cocks speak louder than words, as they say (914): Nobody says that. http://tfl.nu/ymrk
  Replies (8) Good night (1913) Bad night (653)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed

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  (918): I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed http://tfl.nu/e5rt
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (588)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting

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  (775): All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting http://tfl.nu/uofe
  Replies (0) Good night (418) Bad night (751)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.

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  (918): So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus. http://tfl.nu/cj4t
  Replies (2) Good night (653) Bad night (406)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.

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  (770): High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner. http://tfl.nu/6vaw
  Replies (3) Good night (1211) Bad night (334)

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