Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
