I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
