She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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