a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
