Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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