You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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