Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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