i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
