I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
