I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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