My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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