Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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