if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
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Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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