U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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