I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
