White coat. Heels.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize