Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
