no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
