Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
