I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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