Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
