Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
