nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
