is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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