4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm too high and old for this...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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