Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize