Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
