i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im six kinds of drunk right now
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize