I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
