I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
