i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
