Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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