So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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