dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
