I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
