i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
