Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
