I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
