Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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