i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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