i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
