is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
