I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize