I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
