So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize