Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize