Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
