First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
