Are we in a gay sports bar?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
