Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
