Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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