I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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