Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
