he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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