Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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