If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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