I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have already put on my inside pants.
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