How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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