hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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