lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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